If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
