Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize