Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
