I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
