yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
