Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
