...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
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I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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