Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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