you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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