I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
