He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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