alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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