is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Can i not drive my cunt home
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
