Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
