I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
