He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
