I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
