I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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