all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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