1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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