It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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