i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
