how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
bring money and cleavage
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
