Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
