i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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