i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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