so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
