NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
