She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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