U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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