What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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