your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
