apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize