went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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