do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
