I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
