Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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