I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
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I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
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last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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