I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
