Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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