his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize