i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
and she was petting her beer can
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
