she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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