also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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