y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
