we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
