My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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