eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
NoShamevember. You game?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
