Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
