I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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