wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
