apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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