I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize