I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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