We got so high we made milksteak
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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