You just made me feel so damn special
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize