Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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