Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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