he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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