your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize