He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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