Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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