somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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